That's all I can say.
Sometimes, a piece of marketing stupidity comes across my radar that is:
a. Almost impossible to believe
b. Too dumb not to share with you as a cautionary tale
Here's an email I just got from a video producer whom I personally KNOW* (and who shall remain nameless to protect the moronic):
To: David Newman <email@example.com>
Sent: Wednesday, February 22, 2012 3:26 PM
The attached is something new for 2012 which should make it easier to understand all the kinds of services we provide here at [Video Company Name Changed]. Hope this makes it easier to recommend us to others in the future. Thanks and hope all is well with you!
Let's review what's wrong with this picture:
1. He sends a mass email to his database with the salutation "Hi there" even though this is a guy who knows me personally, has done business with several of my clients (not on my recommendation, you can be sure), and - if he had a clue as to how to work his email system - could at least have bothered to do the mass personalization required to make this note say "Hi <fname>" to call all his contacts by name.
2. I was not really having a hard time understanding "all the kinds of services we provide here at" his company. What I now DO have a REAL hard time understanding is why ANYONE would refer such a self-centered goofball to their clients and prospects.
3. "Hope this makes it easier to recommend us to others in the future." Again, I was not losing a lot of sleep over how challenging it was to recommend this guy. Solving THAT problem is a priority for HIM but not for ME (or YOU for that matter).
You know what would make it a lot easier for me to recommend this guy? If he actually provided me with some REAL VALUE. Some insights, tips, recommendations, resources, tools, and ideas to make ME more successful - not him.
4. "Thanks and hope all is well with you!" This totally inauthentic closing simply rubs salt into an already raw wound. Is this guy kidding? His whole tone, approach, and message is "ME ME ME ME" and he "hopes I'm doing OK" while fighting throat cancer, desperately scrambling to put my parents in a nursing home, and heroically trying to make ends meet in my struggling Jewish delicatessen in the middle of the Bronx. Yeah, right - I'm overcome with this idiot's genuine concern for me and my wellbeing.
The worst part of all this?
He's a phony. A fake. A fraud. And a taker. This is the worst kind of professional services provider there is. A snake in sheep's clothing. [Do snakes wear sheep's clothing? I dunno - this one sure does!!]
You know what would have been 1000 times better?
Give me some value. Give me some REASON to want to help you. Personalize your note. Or [God forbid] don't send me a mass email at all and reach out 1-on-1.
This guy has a paltry list so it's not like 1-on-1 outreach to his potential advocates, allies, friends, and referral sources would be so hard to do. FYI I don't fall into any of these categories for him (clearly!!)
You want to do better? Sure you do. So leverage your referral blurb. Create one, share it, use it in good health.
And don't be like this jackass video guy or this moronic firm I wrote about earlier.
Please, please, please - don't give me more fuel for the "Jackass Marketing" column.
* Please note the video firm in question is NOT my video firm. In fact, if you want to get a kickass corporate video or do some video shooting or editing work, I strongly recommend Rob Kates of Professional Speaker Video. HE does a great job AND he knows how to conduct business like a professional, NOT like a goofball! (Speaking of goofballs, this post is worth reading as well about creating your own 9-point Goofball Prevention Screening tool.)
What do you think? Is this too harsh? Not harsh enough? How would you react to the note above? Please share your thoughts in the COMMENTS area below...
p.s. If you'd like some personalized help - and your very own customized social media scripts, email and phone outreach tools, a killer email signature file and more, check out the Small Biz Outreach Action Packs.
Marketing concept for today: Storytelling for Business. This infographic came across my desk recently from the folks at Fathom Business Events. Whether your preferred method of telling your story is LIVE, such as speaking and seminars, or other online/offline channels, THIS is exactly what you should be spending your time doing:
What do you think? Please use the COMMENTS area below to (wait for it...) share YOUR STORY about how these strategies have worked for you!
Today's marketing concept for you is simple - check this out:
Your marketing and sales process should be easy, effortless, and enjoyable.
Period. End of sentence.
If it is not - and if you're attracting difficult, high-maintenance or non-enjoyable prospects - here's another marketing concept for you:
If the dating doesn't go well, it won't get better once you're married.
As the great business sage, Donald Trump, once said:
"Sometimes the best deals are the ones you don't do."
Amen, brother Trump!
5 Signs that Your Prospect is Giving You Too Much Bullsh*t
1. Agreeing to sign on and then backing off at the last minute or the next day to ask for references, birth certificates, blood tests, or guarantees.
2. Bargaining. Namely, asking for a price reduction with no corresponding reduction in services, terms, value, or relationship. (Asking for a price concession "just because" is a classic form of prospect bullsh*t!)
3. Undervaluing your services, track record, and expertise. "I could do this myself, I just don't have time..." or "We've outsourced this to several vendors and have never been happy..." (Run, my friend, run!)
4. Telling you upfront, "We're notoriously difficult to work with / a control freak / a perfectionist / highly demanding - but don't take it personally." (This means they've been fired by other service providers in the past and they're prepping you for the same eventuality while playing BOTH sides of good cop / bad cop. Nice!)
5. Using terms of false affection like "Big Guy'" and "My dear" or false compliments like "You are a great salesperson!" (Obviously, if you were a great salesperson, you would not be wasting your time with this narcissistic sociopath nightmare client from hell, would you?)
As poet Maya Angelou has so eloquently said, "When someone SHOWS you who they are, believe them."
Finally, a cautionary (and VERY funny) video to illustrate the point about Prospect Bullsh*t and how it looks in everyday life:
What do you think? Leave a comment below and let's discuss...
Just came across this terrific item from my fellow marketing speaker and marketing coach, Jose Palomino of Value Prop Interactive - take a look. (Jose's ideas are ALWAYS worthwhile so you may want to subscribe too!)
Just when we thought we had exhausted our creativity with YouTube, up comes this small brand with a truly and literally “out of the box” idea. Bringing to mind those old “Choose-Your-Own-Adventure” books that became a fad among young readers in the 90’s, this recent promotional spot from Tipp-Ex (BIC’s European brand of correctional fluids and tapes) lets viewers interact with the video to change its outcome.
At first, viewers might not realize that the advertisement is interactive, or even that the video they’re watching is an advertisement at all. It starts off as an apparent home video of a two-man camping trip, but their adventure (and unfortunately, their language as well) turns sour when a bear wanders into the campsite. Much to the viewers’ surprise, they are asked to choose what happens next...
Read the rest on Jose's blog, Strategic Propositions
What do you think? Crazy? Innovative? Effective? Share your thoughts in the COMMENTS section below.
As a marketing speaker and marketing coach, many of my clients have neither the budget nor the business model to justify a big advertising budget, much less advertising on TV... BUT a while back there was a Home Depot television commercial that brilliantly demonstrated an understanding of HOW their customers (and yours) make purchasing decisions.
It went something like this…
A man is standing in the tool department holding a drill while his wife looks on dubiously.
He obviously wants to buy it, but apparently expects some resistance from his wife so in an effort to convince her says, "Don't think of this as a drill, think of this as your new book shelves."
Well, his ploy worked because in the next scene, the same couple is standing in front of the table saws. He smiles at his wife, points to one and says, "And think of this as your new deck!"
The final scene shows the same couple getting ready to purchase a shop vac. Only this time the woman speaks up and says, "And I can think of this as my clean garage!"
Not only do they do a stellar job of articulating their products' benefits but they do so without mentioning one feature! So, the next time you're tempted to itemize your products' or services' nifty features take a deep breath and stop.
Instead, articulate how those features translate into customer benefits, outcomes, and results.